I know I would have benefited immensely from having a break up and/or divorce coach by my side during my very tumultuous divorce several years ago. Although my solicitor was extremely helpful, I often found myself discussing matters outside of her remit. This not only amounted to much heftier legal fees, but also did little to help diminish my fears and anxieties; if anything, they only increased. And though my family and a few loyal friends provided unwavering support during these turbulent times, without a doubt, I would have been back in charge of my life much sooner had I received the guidance and support of an unbiased, empathetic coach with personal experience and a sound understanding of breakup & divorce, specifically in the high conflict arena.
More than 10 years ago, I found myself in a toxic relationship. I felt unsupported and often demeaned by my ex-partner. I did not really see what was happening for quite some time. But slowly, I began to realise that his behaviour was driven by an attempt to exert control over me. My ex knew my insecurities and vulnerabilities and he used them against me to enhance his web of control. As time went on, it became more difficult for me to manage and rationalise his behaviour; I became weaker (both physically and mentally) and riddled with self-doubt. My health was badly affected, and I suffered from frequent panic attacks. My body was clearly trying to connect with me, telling me I couldn’t continue living this way; something had to change. Following much soul searching and realising that he would not and could not change, I knew I had to leave permanently, not only for my own health and wellness, but also for that of our son. I realised that the only person I could change was myself; and this was not feasible within my toxic relationship. A high-conflict divorce ensued with all the painful ramifications of co-parenting, or more specifically "parallel parenting" alongside my ex.
I knew that in order to successfully parent our son and generally lead a more fulfilling life, I had to understand why I found myself in toxic relationships in the first place. After many years of therapy, counsel, and educating myself about the sources of relationship-based conflict and what made me susceptible to toxic relationships, I'm much happier and more whole than ever before. Though it was a deeply painful experience, I see now that it awarded me an opportunity to grow and relaunch myself into a life filled with deeper self-compassion and ability to thrive in life, not just survive.
Along the way, I discovered the field of breakup and divorce coaching. I knew almost instantly this was my path: applying the lessons I learned throughout my painful divorce to other women going through similar life changes. I then qualified as a Sara Davison Divorce and Break Up Coach. I have walked in your shoes and I would be humbled and honoured to help guide and support you through all stages of your divorce or breakup (and beyond) and to help you get back in the driver's seat of your life so that you (and your child/children) can live more empowered and fulfilling lives.